Text Messages Jokes

This post is devoted to jokes SMS or in other words text messages jokes. This collection of text messages jokes is diversified between long jokes and short jokes, in order to please everybody’s needs. Enjoy reading these funny text messages jokes or SMS jokes. Do not write them in SMS, they preferably should be told.

Text Messages Jokes

Text Messages Jokes

On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:
“Windows frozen, it won’t open”
Husband texts back: “Pour boiling water over it inside and outside”
Five minutes later, wife texts back.
“Computer’s really screwed up now…


My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right.


The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
The husband texted back to her:
“I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”


Husband’s Message (by text):
“Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!”
Wife’s Response: “Who’s Paula?”


A Roman receives a text message and looks at it confused. “Why does it end with twenty?” he thinks to himself.


What did the Irishman text his Wife?
“Honey I’m down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I’m not back by then please read this message again.”


A woman is calling her cell provider…
Woman: I don’t get my text messages
Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?


Real Middle-aged Texting.
Man: “Fair maiden, wherest doth thou reside on this fair evening?”
Woman: “Good sir, I am trapped within the reside of mine parents”
Man: “Oh, mine love, how I wish mineself were trapped in thine reside so I could bury my face deep within thine bossom.”
Woman: “Mine parents shall rest in the hour next. Upon that time, I shall make mine escape, and help you polish your sword.”
Man: “Mine sword shall stand in waiting for thine touch.”


Hopefully, you enjoyed this amazing bundle of text messages jokes, do not hesitate to share with your friends.