Good jokes are one hell of combination that takes from every kind of jokes a little bit. In our case, our good jokes are sort of funny jokes, practical jokes, corny jokes, as well as cheesy jokes. We gathered all these jokes, and we reproduced these good jokes, that will truly make you laugh hilariously first, and then make everybody whom you tell these good jokes laughs out loud, because they are really so funny and corny.
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
How do you make holy water?
Put it in a pot and boil the hell out if it.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” And so on.
The bartender pours two beers and says, “You guys need to know your limits.”
A mexican magician tells his audience, “I will disappear on the count of three.” He counts down.. “Uno… dos…” And then he disappears, without a trace.
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out, man.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster
What can think the unthinkable?
A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother
Hey, you know how geese migrate in a V shape? Sometimes one side of the V is longer than the other – do you know why?
“No, why’s that? ”
… More geese.
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.
It was pretty bad at first, but, by the end, I liked it.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Why dont blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs
A blind guy goes in to a store and starts swinging his dog around above his head, a worker runs up and says “sir, can I help you?!” The blind guy says “no, just looking around.”
Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car.
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him “Do you know how fast you were going?” “No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies.
The cop says “You were doing 55 in a 35.” Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts “Great! Now I’m lost!” The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”
“We do now, asshole!” shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
A young child is sitting on a bench in a park eating a huge bag of candy.
An old man walks up to him and says “You shouldn’t eat so much candy, it’s bad for your health!”
The kid replies, “Well, my grandpa lived to be 106 years old!”
The old man is shocked. “What was his secret? Did he eat a lot of candy?”
“No,” the kid replies. “He minded his own damn business!”
Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
Ever noticed that glass tastes like blood?
Did you hear about that actress Reese What’s-Her-Face that stabbed the guy?
They say: Witherspoon?
No with her knife.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
what do we want?
When do we want them?
What do we want?!
When do we want it?!
A squirrel is in a pine tree, when all of a sudden, it starts shaking. He looks down, and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
“What are you doing? Why are you climbing my tree?” the squirrel calls down to the elephant.
“I’m coming up there to eat some pears!” the elephant responds.
“You fool! This is a pine tree! There aren’t any pears up here!”
The elephant looks perplexed for a moment, and then says, “Well I brought my own pears.”
A computer scientist goes to get some groceries. Before he leaves, his wife tells him “while you’re there, get some eggs”.
He never comes home.
What did they give the guy who invented the doorknocker?
A no-bell prize.
Two drums and a cymbal fall out of a tree. *Ba-dum tssss *
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
What do you call a fake noodle?
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees.
The response is usually along the lines of how an elephant can’t hide in a cherry tree.
You respond “Well, have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?”
They will respond that they haven’t, and you will reply “The nail polish must be working then.”
Works great for little kids.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten! Ten tickles!
What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
“Make me one with everything.”
What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
What’s green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table
What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
A ghost walks into a bar and orders a shot of vodka. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.”
I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”
Where does the General keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
What did the cowboy say at the German auto show?
Q: What happened when the ship carrying blue paint and the ship carrying red paint crashed into an island?
A: The sailors were marooned.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
Good Jokes Video
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