Donald Trump Jokes

Do you want to laugh at the new president of the united states? You are in the right path, here you find the funniest Donald Trump jokes on the Internet, either long or short jokes about our president Trump. They are not meant to be racist or offensive or something. Yet, these Donald Trump jokes on Hilary or any other are made only to make people laugh. Enjoy!

Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump has labeled Hillary Clinton “disgusting” for taking a bathroom break during the debate. Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the shit just comes straight out of his mouth.


Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected President he’s going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Now that Donald Trump has been elected President, there’ll be hell toupée.
Donald Trump getting elected President has already had a positive effect on the economy.
Sales of alcohol have never been higher.
Now that Donald Trump’s becoming president, I’m going to Mexico.
Not by choice though…
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation?
Discrimination.
Donald Trump labelled Hillary Clinton “disgusting” for taking a bathroom break during the recent Democrat debate.
Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the crap just comes straight out of his mouth.
My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.”
“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.


“No, a surface to hair missile.”
Donald Trump has announced that he’s going to ban wind farms now he’s been elected.
He really needs to keep his hair on.
I’d make a political joke…
But it would just end up being elected President.
Donald Trump is going to be the next president, but the real winner is Melania Trump.
Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.
Why did Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election?
Because now he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
What does Melania see in Donald Trump?
10 billion dollars and high cholesterol.
What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common?
They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.
How much is Donald Trump’s life insurance?
Just one Pence.
“You’re telling me I’m losing my job because Trump won the election? Why, because I’m black?!?”
“Mister President, we’ve been over this…”
Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school one day.
In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.


The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”

He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”

Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.

Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”
Now Donald Trump has been elected as President, he’ll be the first man to use fake tan inside the Oval Office.
Clearly, orange is the new black.
What happens when you take a joke too far?
The 45th President of the United States of America.
A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Police says it’s impossible to tell if it was done by Trump’s opponents or his supporters.


If Donald Trump becomes President, it won’t be the first time he’s kicked a black family out of their home.


I just found out Donald Trump is running for President as a Republican.

I thought he was running as a joke.


Do you want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.


What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common?
They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.


How much is Donald Trump’s life insurance?
Just one pence.


Donald trump is asked “What is 2+2?”
I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s 2+2’? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2 is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can’t believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It’s terrible. It’s just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I’ll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It’s probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it’s probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I’m being honest, I mean, if I’m being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he’s a zero that I don’t like. Though, I probably shouldn’t say that. He’s a nice guy, but he’s like, ‘10101000101,’ on and on, like that. He’s like a computer! You know what I mean? He’s like a computer. I don’t know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me

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