Cute Jokes

Cute jokes are considered as ones of the cleanest jokes, you can share these puns and jokes with your friends, family and whoever, because Jokesful is here to provide you the cutest jokes and puns on the entire Internet, which are highly guaranteed to make people laugh hilariously just in front of you!

Cute Jokes Video

Cute Jokes

Cute jokes

 

Why did the bee marry?

He’s finally found his honey.


Did you hear about the pregnant cat that ate a bowl of wool?

She had mittens.


“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”

“The dog, the dog’s brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”


Why does it suck to be a penguin?

Because even when you get angry, you still look cute.


What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

You look flushed.


Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin.


Why did the cookie go to hospital?

Because he felt crummy.


What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

Look Grandpa, no hands.


Politicians should serve two terms. One in office, one in prison.

Mexican firefighters are always paired up – Jose and Hose B.

I ordered a honeymoon salad. It’s lettuce, alone.


Quasimodo is sitting in the kitchen when his mother comes in, carrying a wok. He says, “I love Chinese food!”. Quasimodo’s mother says, “No, I’m going to use this to iron your shirts!”


Marriage isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. I’ve run a marathon, and I was happy when it was over!


What would you call the child of a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.


It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire.

They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the assault only worsens when the darkness sets in.

Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These darn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“

See: Little Johnny Jokes


Why can’t dalmatians play hide and seek?

Because they’d get spotted.


What do you say to a one-legged hitch-hiker?

Hop in.


A farmer wants to know how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his border collie to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them and runs back to the farmer. The farmer says, “How many?” The dog says, “40.” The farmer is surprised and says, “How can there be 40 – I only bought 38!” The dog says, “I rounded them up.”


It’s Christmas morning and as the little boy comes down the stairway, he sees his Dad in his nightshirt arranging presents under the tree. “Hi Dad! Who’s getting the bagpipes?”


What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.


My girlfriend has just left me saying I spend too much time devoted to my studies of Roman Numerals. I’m L I V I D.


What’s the best day to go to the beach?

On Sunday.


What bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow.


Two friends are talking, one says: “Man, I fell off a thirty-foot long ladder yesterday.”

“Oh no, dude, are you alright?!” inquires the other one, shocked.

“Yeah, I’m OK, I was only on the second rung then.”


Knock, Knock

Who’s there?

Harry!

Harry who?

Harry up, it’s really cold outside!

See: Knock Knock Jokes


Son: “Dad, I want 20 dollars.”

Father: “All I hear is want, want, want. I need to hear some more about giving, too!”

Son: “OK, give me 20 dollars.”

See: Dad Jokes


A female kangaroo scratches her stomach for a while like mad and finally yells, “How often do I have to repeat myself, no cookies in bed!!!”


Mummy, where where you when I was born?

In the hospital.

And daddy?

At work.

That’s great. So nobody was home when I arrived.


Two men were walking on the railroad tracks. One says to the other, “This is the longest stairway I’ve ever seen!” The other guy says, “Yeah, and these low handrails are killing my back.”


“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.'” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” The doctor says, “It’s Not Unusual.”


My father taught me to swim the hard way – he threw me out into the middle of a lake! Learning to swim that way wasn’t easy, but the really hard part was getting out of the burlap bag!


There was a doctor, a lawyer and an HMO director at the pearly gates. St. Peter says to the doctor,”You can go on in.” The lawyer steps up, and St. Peter says, “You can go in on a trial basis.” The HMO director is next in line, and St. Peter says, “You can enter, but only for 3 days.”


Little Ernie asks his auntie, “Why do you have such a big tummy, aunt Lisa?”

“Because there’s a baby inside.”

“Do you like babies?”

“Very much!”

“Well I still think it isn’t right to eat them.“


Little Johnny walks into a pet store and asks the shop assistant: “Could you do me a big favor and throw me a fish please?”

“Why on Earth would you want me to throw you a fish?!”

“Becau


se I want to tell everybody at home that I caught a fish.


A woman got into her car and discovered that the steering wheel was gone, the radio was gone, the accelerator and brake pedals were gone. She was just about to report it to the police when she discovered she was in the back seat.


A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?” The vet says, “Well, let’s have a look at him.” So the vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. Finally he says “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Just because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really, really heavy.”


90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. 10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.


A very religious man fell into the quicksand. Firefighters come by and offer to help, but he says, “No, God will help me.” Next come the police, they offer to help. Again the man says, “No, God will help me.” He then sinks in the quicksand to his death. In heaven, he asks God why he didn’t save him. God says, “What about the firemen and police I sent?”

See also:

Baby Jokes

Cute Pick Up Lines