How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.
Why can’t a bicycle stand on it’s own? It’s two tired.
What are you when you’re running in front of a car?
Why are you when you run behind a car?
A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.
Why did Tiger Woods stop winning golf tournaments?
He stopped cheating.
What does a duck smoke?
I came across a man with a shovel in a cemetery. “Do you dig graves?”, I asked. “Yeah, yeah they’re all right”.
(Due credit goes to The Young Ones).
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller