There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. He went to the doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back. The elderly man came back the next day; the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. The doctor asked, "What was the problem?" The elderly man said, "Well, I tried with my right hand... nothing. I tried with my left hand... nothing. So my wife tried with her right hand... nothing. Her left hand... nothing. Her mouth... nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth... still nothing. The doctor replied, "Wait a minute, did you say your wife's friend too?!" The elderly man answered, "Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup."