Animal Jokes

Funniest animal jokes on Jokesful

Animal Jokes

Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!

Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!

Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!


Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A: A milkshake!


Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.


Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No I deer!


Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!


Q: How are elephants and trees alike?
A: They both have trunks!


Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!


Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!


Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!


Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.


Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.


Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?


Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!


Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!


Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!


Q: What do you get when you plant a frog?
A: A cr-oak tree.


Q: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A: A hush puppy.


Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.


Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.


There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”


Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!


Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.


Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.


Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
A: Take away his shovel!


Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”
A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!


Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!

Cats

Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half.

Q: What happened after the cat ate a ball of wool?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot?
A: A carrot.

Q: How do cats eat spaghetti?
A: With their mouths just like everyone else.

Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mouse.

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?
A: Boo-hoo, I’m paw.

Q: How do you know if your Tom cat’s eaten a duck?
A: He’s got that down in the mouth look.

Q: What kind of musician do cats like to be?
A: Purr-cussionists.

Q: Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the refrigerator?
A: To turn “ice” into “mice”

Q: What do you call a buccaneer with a cat on his shoulder?
A: A purr-ate.

Q: What happened when the cat ate the clown fish?
A: It felt funny.

Q: What’s the first thing a cat does in the morning?
A: It wakes up.

Q: What’s the second thing a cat does after it wakes up?
A: Goes back to sleep.

Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse!

Q: What kind of kitten works at the hospital?
A: A first-aid Kit.

Q: How do you know your cat used your computer?
A: Your mouse has teeth marks on it

Dog

Q: What kind of dogs do vampires like most ?
A: A blood hound

Q: Why did the dog stay in the shade?
A: So he wouldn’t turn into a hot dog.

Q: What do you call a dog with a fever?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me.

Q: What do dogs like for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.

Q: Why was the cat scared of the tree?
A: Because of its bark.

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A cat-has-trophy.

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
A: A spelling bee.

Q: Where do pit bull’s sit?
A: Anywhere they wants to.

Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist similar?
A: One wags a tail while the other tags a whale.

Q: How did the tiny Scottish dog feel when he saw a Great Dane?
A: Terrier-fied.

Q: What do you call a cold dog?
A: A Chilli Dog.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a cocker spaniel with a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cocker-poodle-doo!

Q: What did the waiter say to the puppy?
A: bone-appetit!

Q: How can tell if you have a lazy dog?
A: It only chases parked cars.

 Cows

Q: What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A: A cattle battle.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: Because the farmer had cold hands.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
A: Bull-ogna

Q: What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Q:What do you call a cow who works for a landscaper?
A: A lawn moo-er.

Q: Where do cows go to eat lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: How did the cow get to Mars?
A: It flew through udder space.

Q: What is it called when a cow blends in with his surroundings?
A: Being CaMOOflauged.

Q: What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: What was the cow’s favorite cookie?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What were the cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowlogy, and cowculus

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: Why don’t cows remember things you tell them?
A: Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
A: An Udder-Catastrophe

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer

Q: What was the cows favorite part of math?
A: Moo-ltiplication.

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

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